DISCLAIMER: dhoomra paan karna swaasth ke liye haanikarak hai, isilye gaaliyon ka sadh- upyog kiya gaya hai
" haan ek classic mild” Raj ne ek haath se paise diye aur dusre haath se mobile phone dial kiya “ safed rang ki shirt ,hello, abe beech mein kaun bol raha hai bosdike..phone rakh saale…. kaale rang ka patloon aur nile rang ki bike pe sawaar hokar aa raha hai. Kaam ho jana chahiye aaj hi, hello haan sun raha hai bhainchod, abe teri awaaz kat kyun rahi hai, gaand mein mobile ghusa ke rakha hai kya saale hello, suna maine kya kaha…” “haan safed rang ki shirt aur pant kaale rang ki pahan ke aaoon par kahan milega , nile rang ka kya , hello yeh beech mein sala kaun bol raha hai” Rohilla ne mobile pe cheekte hue kaha … tabhi phone kat jata hai. “ abe gaandu uth saale kabse soya pada hua hai?” Rohilla Gautam ke pichwaade par laath marte hue usse kaha. Gautam neend se uth kar aankehn maslte hue “ kya bola Joglekar ne ?” “abe pata nahi yaar bahaut confusion hai, safed rang ka shirt aur kaali pant pahana hai humein, aur nile rang ka kuch…, pata nahi, beech mein saala phone line mein koi aur bhi tapak pada , woh apni kuch dhun bajaye jaa raha tha, ab saala woh nile rang ka kuch bol raha tha yeah safed rang ka....pata nahi Joglekar kuch keh raha tha , saala kuch samaj nahi aa raha hai” “ dobara phone lagaa bosidi waale ko?” “abe wahi kar raha hun par compression hai keh rahein hain? “ abe angrez ki aulaad congestion hoga network mein” “ toh kya karein “ “dhek kaam toh karna hai hi, koi nahi chalte hain, tu safed shirt aur kaali pant pahan le main nile rang ka shirt aur kaale rang ki pant pahan leta hun." Rohilla ne kaha
THODI DER MEIN…
“ abe helmet kya mera tau layega?”, Rahul ne Karan se kaha “ abe helmet kaun pehne ga iss garmi mein, abe rampuriya chaku hai, kaun saal police wala pakdega?” “abe bhootnike jab khoon karega din dahare mein toh koi pehchaan nahi lega?, isilye helmet maang raha hun chal jaldi se leke aa, kahin woh nikal na jaaye murg mandi se"
Rohilla bike mein sawaar hote hi bola “ ruk ruk ek minute, main woh gamcha lana toh bhul hi gaya, jo ki code waali cheez hai, yaad hai Joglekar ne kal raat ko kya kaha tha, hum un logon ko gamcha dhikhyenge aur woh humein saboon, jiske baad aage ki baat banegi ki ” Par Rohilla abhi bhi woh aaj subah wale joglekar ke phone ko lekar confusion hai,” “ chor na humein kisi ko kya tapakana hai jo tu tension le raha hai, nikalte apan do bhai mast bike chalake, murg mandi pahunchenge, mast Salman style gamcha pairon ke beech mein karke naachenge , agla banda saaboon dhikyega aur bus kaam hote hi wapaas.
MURG MANDI
Karan aur Rahul apne shikaar ka intezaar kar rahein the…. Rahul bike mein aage tha aur Karan uske peeche bhaitha hua tha ...” abe woh dekh safed shirt kaali patloon mein bike mein koi aa raha hai wahi hoga saale, par…iski bike toh kaali hai, Raj ne toh….” ‘” abe dhakhan Raj ne shayad dusre bande ki baat ki hogi jo ki nile rang ki shirt mein hai, naaki bike ki, dhek..”. Tabhi Rahul ne kaha “ yaar beech mein agar subha woh teesre bande ki awaaz nahi hoti toh sab clear rahta, saala yeh dono hai ya aur koi kuch samahj mein nahi aa raha hai” Rahul ne helmet ke andar se paas ek dukaan mein ek murgi ke gardan ko kate hue dhekh ke kaha.” Par Rahul saala maarna kis ko hai? safed waalein ko ya nile waalein ko?, Saboon kiske paas hogi” “Toss karte hain, kyun?” Rahul ne thoda chirke bola “ abe do rampuriya toh hai , safed wale ke pet mein tu marega aur main nile wale ke peeth mein chura ghop dunga. Theek?” “Par Rahul nile waale ke peeth pe chura kyun pet mein kyun nahi?” “ kyun ki bhain ke laude nilein waalein ke pet mein appendix hai, dard nahi hoga becharee ko,.. kya chutiyon wali batein kar raha hai bhai safed wala bike chala raha hai toh uske pet mein chura ghopna aasaan hoga , par nile rang wale shirt ka banda uske peeche bhaitha hua hai pet toh chup gaya na toh peeth mein hi maarega ” Rahul ne bike start ki aur ulti taraf se aate hue Gautam aur Rohilla ke taraf apni bike daurai
Gautam aur Rohilla is baat se anjaan gamcha haawa mein laharate hue bike mein chal rahe the “Ready reh Karan” Yeh kehte hue jaise hi Gautam aur Rohilla inke bike ke paas se guzre, Rahul ne Rohilla ke peeth par aur Karan ne Gautam ke pet chura ghop daala par maze ki baat yeh ho gayi Rohilla jo bike ke peeche bhaith kar maze mein gamcha lahara raha tha woh Rahul ke aankhon ke saamne aagya. Ek toh Rahul ne helmet pehni hui thi uske upar se aankhon ke saamne achanak se gamcha aa gaya, usski ghabrahat, chaku ghopne ke baad aur bhi bad gayi , isse uske haath se bike ka handle chooth gaya aur dono gir pade. Idahr zakhmi hone ke wajah se Gautam aur Rohilla bhi zameen pe gir chuke the.
Karan aur Rahul bike chor uthkar bhagne lage, Gautam ke pet se khoon nikalta dhekh Rohilla ne gamcha liya aur Gautam ke pet ke gaav ko bhand diya. Jabki Rohilla ko bhi peeth mein chaku gopha hua tha par woh itna gehra nahi tha jitna Gautam ka pet ka gaav tha. Rohilla ne paas khade auto wale ko bandook dhikhayi aur aaspatal le jane ko kaha. Auto walein Rohilla ke saath Zakhmi Gautam ko seat mein bhitakar hadbadi mein auto ke saath meter bhi chalu kar diya. “Rohilla mujhe behosh mat hone diyo, ek kaam kar auto waalein ko bol radio chalane ko” Yeh sunte hi auto waalen ne kaha sahaab radio toh nahi hai “ toh bahin ke laude khud gaana ga” Rohila ne auto waalein se kaha.
Rahul bhagte bhagte ek residential colony mein ghus gaya. Uske chothi chothi galiyon se hote hue kareeb bees minute baad use samaj aaya ki woh kahin phas gaya hai, upar se challis degree ki garmi aur helmet bhi na khol paye. Tabhi use samne building ke paani ka pipe nazar aaya, woh uspar chadne laga. Bhaisaahab khuch der pipe ka raasta taye kara hi ta toh pata chala saath mein jo khidkiyan hai woh sab gusalkhane ke hain. Bhaisaahab chadte gaye, chatheh maale ke ghusalkhane ki khidki khuli hui thi. Rahul ne socha yehi mauka hai ki ismein woh ghus jaye aur thodi der chhup ke bhaithe rahe ki tabhi usne dhekha ki andar gusalkhane mein ek aurat naha rahi thee. Usko dhekh kar use aisa jhatka laga ki woh paani ki pipe se sarak kar seedhe teesre male tak pahaunch gaya. Wapas usne chadhai ki aur chatheh maale ke gusalkhane tak pahauncha. Iss bar uska thoda dil tut sa gaya kyunki iss baar us aurat ke saath ek aadmi bhi tha. Tabhi us aadmi ki nazar Rahul pe padi aur usne cheekh kar kaha “Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut, abe o chutiye dhikhayi nahi de raha hum shooting kar rahein hain?” “Toh kariye na shooting.. maine kab mana kiya hai, mere haath toh yeh pipe pakde hue hain, kuch karna chahun bhi toh nahi kar paaonga” yeh kehte hue Rahul phir pipe chadne laga aur building ke chhat pe pahaunch gaya. Chhat mein akar usne helmet kholi, uski shirt ki kalaiyaan khoon se sani hui thi, usne jaldi se Karan ko phone lagaya. “Haan be gaandu kahan hai saale tu toh bhag gaya gaand meri phathi padi hai” Karan ne phone pe Rahul ko gusse mein dheemi awaaz mein bola. Idhar chhat par Rahul phone par Karan ko iss barein mein kuch samjhaye ki wahan wahi aurat jo naha rahi thi daurti hui aayi aur chhat ke ek kone mein jaake railing ke upar chadh kar chalang marne lagii. Peeche se Rahul ne use pakad liya aur kheechke apni taraf kar liya “Mujhe mar jane do mujhe nahi jeena iss duniyaan mein” yeh kehte hue woh apne aap ko Rahul se churwaane lagi, Rahul ne ek jor se uske gaal mein tamacha mara aur poocha “kyun marna chahti hai”. Uss ladki ne apni dastan byan ki. Weh apna pet palne ke liye iss shahar mein aayi thi par jab kaam nahi mila toh majbooran ashleel picturon mein kaam karne lagi. Par ab woh iss zindagi se tang aa gayi thee aur marna chahti thee. Rahul ne uss aurat ko sar se lekar paau tak dhekha uske saamne abhi bhi wahi gusalkhane mein nangi nahati hui tasweer thi. “ abe pagal hai kya tu, pet ke liye log kya kya nahi karte, chhor woh sab, mere saath chal tujhe iss jagah se nikal lunga main.” Us aurat ne usske taraf dhekha aur phir kaha “kya karega tu? Aur… tu yahan pahuncha kaise?” “Yeh sab bataane ka time nahi hai abhi, tu ek baat bata tu rehti kahan hai?’ “Yehi paas ke building mein, yahan se kareeb dus minute ka rasta hai”. “Toh ek kam kar main bhi tere saath chalta hun tere ghar. Main zara musibat mein phasa hua hun, tere ghar chalte hain phir araam se sochte hain kya karna chahiye.”
Achanak Rahul ka phone kat jane par Karan ek chhote se market mein ghus gaya. Uski nazaar ek naayi ki dukaan par padi, usne us dukaan mein ghus kar pehle baithe hue aadmi ko uth jane ko kaha. Jab us aadmi ne mana kiya toh usne dheere se jeb se chaku ka ek hissa dhikhaya , woh aadmi turant khada ho gaya. Karan kursi mein bhaith gaya aur naayi ko ishara kiya ki baal kaat de. Naayi ne jab poocha baal kitne chhote kare, tabhi Karan ne saamne lage sheeshe mein ek hawaldar ko dhekha “ganja kar de fatafat.”
Rahul ne uss aurat se kaha “Par hum neeche jayenge kaise mere kameez mein toh khoon laga hua hai?” Uss aurat ne kuch socha aur phir Rahul ke kameez ke button khol diye , phir woh apni shirt ki button khol ne lagi..yeh dhek Rahul thodi der ke liye chaunk gaya, par ladki ne shirt ke neeche ek aur kameez pehni hui thi “Yeh le, yeh shirt pehen le aur chal jaldi se.”
Karan ab ganja ho chukka tha , woh kursi se utha aur naayi waalein ko pachaas rupaye thamaye, naayi ne kaha “saahab ganja karne ke tees rupaye aur baal katne ke sattar rupaaye” “woh kyun?” “kya sahaab ganja karne mein naayi ke kala ka koi pradarshan nahi hota hai, baal katwate toh kuch kala main bhi dhikha pata par…” “koi nahi us uncle ke bees rupaye de raha hun” Karan haste hue nikal gaya.
Aspataal
Rohilla aur Gautam aspataal mein bharti the. Police ne aake byaan liya jismein Gautam ne Rahul aur Karan ke huliya ke baarein mein bataya hua tha. Hala ki woh shakal kaisi thi woh nahi bol paye kyunki unke hamlawar yaani Rahul aur Karan helmet pehne hue the. “ Sirji hum toh murg mandi murgi khareedne gaye the, socha tha Sunday ka din hai mast chicken khayenge dopahar ko beer ke sath ..par” Rohilla ne kaha. Inspector ke jaane ke baad Gautam jiski pet mein che take pare hue the do din baad behtar mehsoos kar raha tha, Rohilla se poocha “ yaar ek bat bata uss saboon ki tikiya mein aisa kya tha jiske wajah se itna bawal mach pada hai, matlab Joglekar ne toh bus kaha tha gamcha dhikha dena aur dusra aadmi saboon ki ek tikiya de dega. Par iss beech mein humari toh gaand hi lag gayi.” “ abe tujhe har baat yehin poochni hai, ghar chalte hain uske baad Joglekar se baat karenge, par ek baat hai saale ne do din beet gay ek baar bhi phone nahi kiya ki kaam hua hai ki nahi” ussi din sham ko Gautam aur Rohilla ko aspataal se chuthi mil gayi.
“ Dheere dheere se lita saale pet ke taanke na khul jaaye” Gautam Rohilla ke sahare bister par let gaya. “Teen din se chai nahi pee hai theek se, ek kaam karta hun do cup chai banata hun phir nahane jaunga. “Abe gaandu doodh toh hai nahi chai kaise banyega?” “are neeche waale kamrein ke Komal se lekar aata hun” Rohilla ne Komal ka darwaza khatkhataya. Darwaza kholte hi Rohilla ne poocha” Namaste , woh zara Komal ko bula denge, ghar mein doodh nahi hai thoda agar doodh mil jata?’ Rahul Rohille ko dhekhkar wahin pe jam gaya, usne apne sapne mein bhi nahi socha tha ki jisko usne peeth par chura ghopa tha wahi banda uske saamne patti bhandhe katore mein doodh mang raha hai. Tabhi Komal dusre kamrein sa nikal kar bahar aayi “are bhaisahab aap. Aaiye, woh darasal mera dost hai aaj hi aaya hai mere gaon se, ..” “Acha, woh darsal doodh chaiye tha?” “Arre aapko yeh kya hua , patti wagera bhandha hua hai?” “Woh kuch haraami saalon ne mujh pe aur Gautam pe chaku se hamla kiya, saalon ne uske upar se helmet pehna hua tha isiliye shakal pehchan nahi paaye warna saalon ke tatton ko hathode se phod daalte, naali ke keede bhain ke laude….” Komal ne Rahul ki taraf dhekha aur Rahul ne Komal ki taraf dhekh kar nazarein neeche kar li.
Ussi din raat ko Karan ka phone Rahul ke paas aya” Maadarchod kahan pe hai,?” “ are kisi ke ghar ruka hua hun , ek aurat hai ….Komal” “kaisi hai?” “ raapchik maal hai, teen din se baja raha hun isse, ussi ke ghar par hun , ussi ka kha raha hun, usi ko baja raha hun , ek aadmi ko aur kya chahiye” bolke dono hans padte hai “ Acha tu kahan par hai be?” Rahul ne poocha “ thaane mein , inspector ne sab kuch ugalwa liya hai, ab woh tujhko pakdenge” Yeh sunte hi Rahul bister par chaunkar bhaith gaya, Paas mein Komal leti hui thi. Usne Rahul ke pant ke zip ko kholne ke liye haath badaya ki Rahul ne uska haath hata te hue use ek tamaacha maar diya. Rahul kuch aur bol pata ki dusri taraf se Karan phir hans pada “ kyun saale phath gayi, main toh mazaak kar raha tha, nikal gayi teri saale , ab bata, tu us ladki ki le raha hai ya maine teri le lee” Karan aur bhi jor jor se hasne laga. Rahul ne gusse mein phone kaat diya. Par wapas Karan ka phone aa gaya “abe gussa kyun ho raha hai, main wapas apne kamrein mein aa gaya hun. Do din se bahar nahi nikla hun, aaj shayad niklunga. Ghar pe rashan sab khatham hai." “ par tujhe agar kisi ne pehchan liya toh?” Rahul ne Karan se poocha “are main ganja ha gaya hun , saala koi kya main khud ko nahi pehchaan paa raha hun, tu bata?” “acha sun ek baat toh bolna hi bhool gaya” Rahul ne poori ghatna batayi jo pichhle do din mein ghati thi “abe maadarchod, matlab dono zinda hain, iska matlab beta sahi hai helmet pahane rahoge toh khoon karke bhi bach sakte ho kyun, isilye hamesha bike chalayein toh helmet pehnke chalna chahiye “ kehkar dono phir hans pade. Tabhi Rahul ne Karan se poocha “ abe ek baat toh bata humein jo Raj ne kaha tha ki safed shirt wale par hamla karna hai phir uske jeb se saboon ki tikkiya nikal ni hai , yeh saala saboon ki tikkiya mein hai kya?”” Pata nahi yaar, par woh kaam bhi toh nahi hua, upar se safed shirt aur nile shirt waale bach gaye, kya pata police ko kya bola hoga?”
Rohilla ke dimaag mein bhi eki hi sawal tha “ abe Gautam ek bat bata, Joglekar ne jo saboon ki baat ki thi , saala uss saboon mein tha kya jo hum par kisi aur ne jaan lewa humla kiya?” “pata nahi , ek kaam kar Joglekar ko phone laga” “abe uska phone switch off aa raha hai, kal uske ghar jaakar hi milunga
SABOON KI TIKKIYA KA RAAZ
Darsal iss saboon ke tikkiya mein kuch nahi hai, baat hai isski wrapping paper ki. Isske andar ke taraf ek number likha hua hai, 542 04, iss number ke pehle teen akshar ek kaidi ke hai jo jail ki saaza kaat raha hai, aur aakhri do number uske kamre ka number hai. Log kisi ko marwana chahe toh kiraye ke gundo ko paisa dekar marwate hain , aisa hi kuch jail ke andar bhi chalta hai. Toh Raj ne apne do log Rahul aur Karan ko bheja tha Murg mandi ki yeh plan kamyaab na ho, isilye jab woh safed shirt wala banda bike mein aayega usse marker saboon uske jeb se nikal le taki woh jail me kaidi bach jaye, kyunki Raj khud iss kaidi ke khoon ka pyasa tha , aur woh nahi chahta tha ki koi aur usse maarne ki supaari de. Raj aur Madhav urf Kaidi number 542, ek samay par ache dost the, par Raj ke peeth peeche Madhav uski biwi ko bajata tha. Ek din jab Raj ki biwi ne dene se inkaar kar diya toh Madhav ne usse aisa mara ki woh mar gayi, police ne Madhav ko jail mein bandh kar diya aur uspe case chala diya, jisse Raj ko koi tasalli nahi milli. Joglekar ek local gunda tha, jo supari lekar khoon karta tha. Usne Madhav ki supaari kisi teesre aadmi se li thi, Hala ki Madhav ladki thokne ke illawa bahaut logo ko paise ke maamle mein bhi dhoka dene mein mahir tha, ussi mein se ek aadmi ne Joglekar ko kaha tha jail mein Madhav ka khoon karne ko.Yehi aadmi uss din Murg Mandi mein safed shirt aur kaale pant mein nile rang ki bike pe aa raha tha saboon ki tikiya lekar. Kyunki woh thoda sa late ho gaya aur usske beech mein phone ke cross connection ne pura plan hi ulta kar diya.
Agle din Rohilla Joglekar ke ghar pahauncha “abe tum log saale kaha ho, woh kaam bhi thik se nahi kiya, party ka phone aya tha ki tum log Murg Mandi pahaunche hi nahi. “ Rohilla ne puri ghathna film style mein rewind kee with background score. Rohilla ne uss saboon ki tikkiya ka raaz bhi jaan liya Joglekar se “pata hai ab problem kya hua hai, ab jail mein aur bhi sakth pehra bhitha diya hai, ab itna late ho gaya hai ki pata nahi kya karoonga” “Kyun kya hua ?” Rohilla ne poocha,” abe bosdike akhbaar nahi padte ho, dhekha nahi jailon mein kaise ek kaidi dusre kaidi ko maar rahein hain, pata nahi kaise maar paonga iss maadarchod ko.” Idhaar Raj ne bhi Rahul aur Karan ko apne ghar bulakar Phatkaar maari.
Teen Mahine baad…
Ek mush-hoor akhbaar mein yeh kahabar chapi
residential colony mein ashleel filmen banane ka parda paash, police ne computer sahit DVDs aur movie camera zabdt ki, isspar chhan been jaari hai. Police commissioner ne do din ke andar saare gunehgaaron ko saalankhon ke peeche karne ki than li hai.
“Are Komal main nikal ta hun office ke liye” Rahul ab bhi Komal ke saath reh raha tha, Komal ne ek dukaan mein sales girl ka kaam le liya tha aur Rahul ne ek company mein courier boy ka kaam le liya tha. “Are Rahul apni helmet le jaana mat bhoolna , kal le nahi gaye the” Rahul ne muskurake Komal ki taraf dhekha aur kaha “haan helmet pehna swasth ke liye labhdayak hai kyunki…” yeh bol ke dono zor zor se hasne lage aur isi beech Rahul ne bike ki chaabi table se uthayi aur sar par helmet pehnkar ghar ka darwaza khola.
Inspector khada hua tha apne constable ke saath “yeh komal kaun hai? “ Rahul ne helmet ke andar se Komal ko awaaz di, Komal jab bahar aayi toh Inspector ne usko sar se pav tak dhekha, uske saamne DVD mein Komal aur uss ke saath ek aur aadmi ki nahane ki tasweer samne aa gayi. Inspector thoda muskuraya aur bola chalo thane, ab thane mein apne jalwe bhikherna, tabhi constable ne Rahul ko dhekha aur kaha “ abe oye helmet kya pehne hue hai utar isko?” Rahul jyon hi helmet utaarne ko apne dono haath helmet par rakhta hai ki inspector phir kehta hai “ Ek minute helmet mat utarna , tujhe kahin dhekha hai saale helmet ke saath, …kahan dhekha hai “ yeh sochte sochte constable phir bol padta hai “ sahaab are issi Komal ke ashleel DVD jismein woh naha rahi this ussi frame mein bathroom ke khidki ke bahar yeh helmet pehne latka hua tha, aur sirje agar aapne gaur farmaya ho toh uske shirt mein khoon ke daag bhi the, yeh yeh kalayi ki taraf” “haan ab tu helmet utaar” inspector ne bola, Rahul ke helmet utarte hi inspector ne Rahul ko do thapad gaal mein rakh ke diye. Komal aur Rahul dono ko thane le jaya gaya. Wahan par pooch tach karne par dono ne aapni apni gunah kabool kiye. Rahul ne Karan ke baarein mein bhi bataya. Rahul par jab tak case chal raha tha tab tak uss ko bade jail bhej diya jahan Madhav bhi sazaa kaat raha tha.
Do Mahine baad
Jab Joglekar ko Rahul ki khabar mili toh usne Rohilla ko bataya, Rohilla ka khoon khaul utha usne kaha, “Joglekar bhai, aap iss Rahul ko marwa do jail mein hi , issi bhain ke laude ne mere peeth par chhura ghopa tha, “ Joglekar hasne laga aur kaha “ teri kismet achi hai…. aaj subha hi Madhav ko marne ke liye ek aur uske dushman ne mujhe supari dee hai. “ Toh Rohilla ne poocha “ iska matlab?” “Yeh toh tu do din baad akhbaar mein hi pad liyo”
do din baad
Jail mein phir se kaidiyion mein jhadap... Rahul aur Madhav naam ke do kaidiyon mein nahane ke saaboon ko lekar jhagra hua, isse do dal ban gaye, aadhe kaidi Madhav ke taraf ho gayein aur aadhe Rahul ke taraf. dono mein khub pathar baji hua jissmein Madhav aur Rahul maare gaye.
Jail adhikariyon ko kahna hai ke jail ke andar construction ka kaam chal raha tha, jo ki naye tenderon ke aane ke wajah se paanch saal se ruk gaya tha. iske chalte iitein aur cement kaafi deeno se wahan pada tha, ussi iiton se in dono ghuth mein ladai hui ...... police adhikariyon ne tender paas karne wale adhikariyon par mukadma chalaane ki court mein dharkhasth ki hai. Police ka kehna hai agar tender pass ho gaya hota toh aaj yeh do kaidi bach gaye hote....
" haan ek classic mild” Raj ne ek haath se paise diye aur dusre haath se mobile phone dial kiya “ safed rang ki shirt ,hello, abe beech mein kaun bol raha hai bosdike..phone rakh saale…. kaale rang ka patloon aur nile rang ki bike pe sawaar hokar aa raha hai. Kaam ho jana chahiye aaj hi, hello haan sun raha hai bhainchod, abe teri awaaz kat kyun rahi hai, gaand mein mobile ghusa ke rakha hai kya saale hello, suna maine kya kaha…” “haan safed rang ki shirt aur pant kaale rang ki pahan ke aaoon par kahan milega , nile rang ka kya , hello yeh beech mein sala kaun bol raha hai” Rohilla ne mobile pe cheekte hue kaha … tabhi phone kat jata hai. “ abe gaandu uth saale kabse soya pada hua hai?” Rohilla Gautam ke pichwaade par laath marte hue usse kaha. Gautam neend se uth kar aankehn maslte hue “ kya bola Joglekar ne ?” “abe pata nahi yaar bahaut confusion hai, safed rang ka shirt aur kaali pant pahana hai humein, aur nile rang ka kuch…, pata nahi, beech mein saala phone line mein koi aur bhi tapak pada , woh apni kuch dhun bajaye jaa raha tha, ab saala woh nile rang ka kuch bol raha tha yeah safed rang ka....pata nahi Joglekar kuch keh raha tha , saala kuch samaj nahi aa raha hai” “ dobara phone lagaa bosidi waale ko?” “abe wahi kar raha hun par compression hai keh rahein hain? “ abe angrez ki aulaad congestion hoga network mein” “ toh kya karein “ “dhek kaam toh karna hai hi, koi nahi chalte hain, tu safed shirt aur kaali pant pahan le main nile rang ka shirt aur kaale rang ki pant pahan leta hun." Rohilla ne kaha
THODI DER MEIN…
“ abe helmet kya mera tau layega?”, Rahul ne Karan se kaha “ abe helmet kaun pehne ga iss garmi mein, abe rampuriya chaku hai, kaun saal police wala pakdega?” “abe bhootnike jab khoon karega din dahare mein toh koi pehchaan nahi lega?, isilye helmet maang raha hun chal jaldi se leke aa, kahin woh nikal na jaaye murg mandi se"
Rohilla bike mein sawaar hote hi bola “ ruk ruk ek minute, main woh gamcha lana toh bhul hi gaya, jo ki code waali cheez hai, yaad hai Joglekar ne kal raat ko kya kaha tha, hum un logon ko gamcha dhikhyenge aur woh humein saboon, jiske baad aage ki baat banegi ki ” Par Rohilla abhi bhi woh aaj subah wale joglekar ke phone ko lekar confusion hai,” “ chor na humein kisi ko kya tapakana hai jo tu tension le raha hai, nikalte apan do bhai mast bike chalake, murg mandi pahunchenge, mast Salman style gamcha pairon ke beech mein karke naachenge , agla banda saaboon dhikyega aur bus kaam hote hi wapaas.
MURG MANDI
Karan aur Rahul apne shikaar ka intezaar kar rahein the…. Rahul bike mein aage tha aur Karan uske peeche bhaitha hua tha ...” abe woh dekh safed shirt kaali patloon mein bike mein koi aa raha hai wahi hoga saale, par…iski bike toh kaali hai, Raj ne toh….” ‘” abe dhakhan Raj ne shayad dusre bande ki baat ki hogi jo ki nile rang ki shirt mein hai, naaki bike ki, dhek..”. Tabhi Rahul ne kaha “ yaar beech mein agar subha woh teesre bande ki awaaz nahi hoti toh sab clear rahta, saala yeh dono hai ya aur koi kuch samahj mein nahi aa raha hai” Rahul ne helmet ke andar se paas ek dukaan mein ek murgi ke gardan ko kate hue dhekh ke kaha.” Par Rahul saala maarna kis ko hai? safed waalein ko ya nile waalein ko?, Saboon kiske paas hogi” “Toss karte hain, kyun?” Rahul ne thoda chirke bola “ abe do rampuriya toh hai , safed wale ke pet mein tu marega aur main nile wale ke peeth mein chura ghop dunga. Theek?” “Par Rahul nile waale ke peeth pe chura kyun pet mein kyun nahi?” “ kyun ki bhain ke laude nilein waalein ke pet mein appendix hai, dard nahi hoga becharee ko,.. kya chutiyon wali batein kar raha hai bhai safed wala bike chala raha hai toh uske pet mein chura ghopna aasaan hoga , par nile rang wale shirt ka banda uske peeche bhaitha hua hai pet toh chup gaya na toh peeth mein hi maarega ” Rahul ne bike start ki aur ulti taraf se aate hue Gautam aur Rohilla ke taraf apni bike daurai
Gautam aur Rohilla is baat se anjaan gamcha haawa mein laharate hue bike mein chal rahe the “Ready reh Karan” Yeh kehte hue jaise hi Gautam aur Rohilla inke bike ke paas se guzre, Rahul ne Rohilla ke peeth par aur Karan ne Gautam ke pet chura ghop daala par maze ki baat yeh ho gayi Rohilla jo bike ke peeche bhaith kar maze mein gamcha lahara raha tha woh Rahul ke aankhon ke saamne aagya. Ek toh Rahul ne helmet pehni hui thi uske upar se aankhon ke saamne achanak se gamcha aa gaya, usski ghabrahat, chaku ghopne ke baad aur bhi bad gayi , isse uske haath se bike ka handle chooth gaya aur dono gir pade. Idahr zakhmi hone ke wajah se Gautam aur Rohilla bhi zameen pe gir chuke the.
Karan aur Rahul bike chor uthkar bhagne lage, Gautam ke pet se khoon nikalta dhekh Rohilla ne gamcha liya aur Gautam ke pet ke gaav ko bhand diya. Jabki Rohilla ko bhi peeth mein chaku gopha hua tha par woh itna gehra nahi tha jitna Gautam ka pet ka gaav tha. Rohilla ne paas khade auto wale ko bandook dhikhayi aur aaspatal le jane ko kaha. Auto walein Rohilla ke saath Zakhmi Gautam ko seat mein bhitakar hadbadi mein auto ke saath meter bhi chalu kar diya. “Rohilla mujhe behosh mat hone diyo, ek kaam kar auto waalein ko bol radio chalane ko” Yeh sunte hi auto waalen ne kaha sahaab radio toh nahi hai “ toh bahin ke laude khud gaana ga” Rohila ne auto waalein se kaha.
Rahul bhagte bhagte ek residential colony mein ghus gaya. Uske chothi chothi galiyon se hote hue kareeb bees minute baad use samaj aaya ki woh kahin phas gaya hai, upar se challis degree ki garmi aur helmet bhi na khol paye. Tabhi use samne building ke paani ka pipe nazar aaya, woh uspar chadne laga. Bhaisaahab khuch der pipe ka raasta taye kara hi ta toh pata chala saath mein jo khidkiyan hai woh sab gusalkhane ke hain. Bhaisaahab chadte gaye, chatheh maale ke ghusalkhane ki khidki khuli hui thi. Rahul ne socha yehi mauka hai ki ismein woh ghus jaye aur thodi der chhup ke bhaithe rahe ki tabhi usne dhekha ki andar gusalkhane mein ek aurat naha rahi thee. Usko dhekh kar use aisa jhatka laga ki woh paani ki pipe se sarak kar seedhe teesre male tak pahaunch gaya. Wapas usne chadhai ki aur chatheh maale ke gusalkhane tak pahauncha. Iss bar uska thoda dil tut sa gaya kyunki iss baar us aurat ke saath ek aadmi bhi tha. Tabhi us aadmi ki nazar Rahul pe padi aur usne cheekh kar kaha “Cut Cut Cut Cut Cut, abe o chutiye dhikhayi nahi de raha hum shooting kar rahein hain?” “Toh kariye na shooting.. maine kab mana kiya hai, mere haath toh yeh pipe pakde hue hain, kuch karna chahun bhi toh nahi kar paaonga” yeh kehte hue Rahul phir pipe chadne laga aur building ke chhat pe pahaunch gaya. Chhat mein akar usne helmet kholi, uski shirt ki kalaiyaan khoon se sani hui thi, usne jaldi se Karan ko phone lagaya. “Haan be gaandu kahan hai saale tu toh bhag gaya gaand meri phathi padi hai” Karan ne phone pe Rahul ko gusse mein dheemi awaaz mein bola. Idhar chhat par Rahul phone par Karan ko iss barein mein kuch samjhaye ki wahan wahi aurat jo naha rahi thi daurti hui aayi aur chhat ke ek kone mein jaake railing ke upar chadh kar chalang marne lagii. Peeche se Rahul ne use pakad liya aur kheechke apni taraf kar liya “Mujhe mar jane do mujhe nahi jeena iss duniyaan mein” yeh kehte hue woh apne aap ko Rahul se churwaane lagi, Rahul ne ek jor se uske gaal mein tamacha mara aur poocha “kyun marna chahti hai”. Uss ladki ne apni dastan byan ki. Weh apna pet palne ke liye iss shahar mein aayi thi par jab kaam nahi mila toh majbooran ashleel picturon mein kaam karne lagi. Par ab woh iss zindagi se tang aa gayi thee aur marna chahti thee. Rahul ne uss aurat ko sar se lekar paau tak dhekha uske saamne abhi bhi wahi gusalkhane mein nangi nahati hui tasweer thi. “ abe pagal hai kya tu, pet ke liye log kya kya nahi karte, chhor woh sab, mere saath chal tujhe iss jagah se nikal lunga main.” Us aurat ne usske taraf dhekha aur phir kaha “kya karega tu? Aur… tu yahan pahuncha kaise?” “Yeh sab bataane ka time nahi hai abhi, tu ek baat bata tu rehti kahan hai?’ “Yehi paas ke building mein, yahan se kareeb dus minute ka rasta hai”. “Toh ek kam kar main bhi tere saath chalta hun tere ghar. Main zara musibat mein phasa hua hun, tere ghar chalte hain phir araam se sochte hain kya karna chahiye.”
Achanak Rahul ka phone kat jane par Karan ek chhote se market mein ghus gaya. Uski nazaar ek naayi ki dukaan par padi, usne us dukaan mein ghus kar pehle baithe hue aadmi ko uth jane ko kaha. Jab us aadmi ne mana kiya toh usne dheere se jeb se chaku ka ek hissa dhikhaya , woh aadmi turant khada ho gaya. Karan kursi mein bhaith gaya aur naayi ko ishara kiya ki baal kaat de. Naayi ne jab poocha baal kitne chhote kare, tabhi Karan ne saamne lage sheeshe mein ek hawaldar ko dhekha “ganja kar de fatafat.”
Rahul ne uss aurat se kaha “Par hum neeche jayenge kaise mere kameez mein toh khoon laga hua hai?” Uss aurat ne kuch socha aur phir Rahul ke kameez ke button khol diye , phir woh apni shirt ki button khol ne lagi..yeh dhek Rahul thodi der ke liye chaunk gaya, par ladki ne shirt ke neeche ek aur kameez pehni hui thi “Yeh le, yeh shirt pehen le aur chal jaldi se.”
Karan ab ganja ho chukka tha , woh kursi se utha aur naayi waalein ko pachaas rupaye thamaye, naayi ne kaha “saahab ganja karne ke tees rupaye aur baal katne ke sattar rupaaye” “woh kyun?” “kya sahaab ganja karne mein naayi ke kala ka koi pradarshan nahi hota hai, baal katwate toh kuch kala main bhi dhikha pata par…” “koi nahi us uncle ke bees rupaye de raha hun” Karan haste hue nikal gaya.
Aspataal
Rohilla aur Gautam aspataal mein bharti the. Police ne aake byaan liya jismein Gautam ne Rahul aur Karan ke huliya ke baarein mein bataya hua tha. Hala ki woh shakal kaisi thi woh nahi bol paye kyunki unke hamlawar yaani Rahul aur Karan helmet pehne hue the. “ Sirji hum toh murg mandi murgi khareedne gaye the, socha tha Sunday ka din hai mast chicken khayenge dopahar ko beer ke sath ..par” Rohilla ne kaha. Inspector ke jaane ke baad Gautam jiski pet mein che take pare hue the do din baad behtar mehsoos kar raha tha, Rohilla se poocha “ yaar ek bat bata uss saboon ki tikiya mein aisa kya tha jiske wajah se itna bawal mach pada hai, matlab Joglekar ne toh bus kaha tha gamcha dhikha dena aur dusra aadmi saboon ki ek tikiya de dega. Par iss beech mein humari toh gaand hi lag gayi.” “ abe tujhe har baat yehin poochni hai, ghar chalte hain uske baad Joglekar se baat karenge, par ek baat hai saale ne do din beet gay ek baar bhi phone nahi kiya ki kaam hua hai ki nahi” ussi din sham ko Gautam aur Rohilla ko aspataal se chuthi mil gayi.
“ Dheere dheere se lita saale pet ke taanke na khul jaaye” Gautam Rohilla ke sahare bister par let gaya. “Teen din se chai nahi pee hai theek se, ek kaam karta hun do cup chai banata hun phir nahane jaunga. “Abe gaandu doodh toh hai nahi chai kaise banyega?” “are neeche waale kamrein ke Komal se lekar aata hun” Rohilla ne Komal ka darwaza khatkhataya. Darwaza kholte hi Rohilla ne poocha” Namaste , woh zara Komal ko bula denge, ghar mein doodh nahi hai thoda agar doodh mil jata?’ Rahul Rohille ko dhekhkar wahin pe jam gaya, usne apne sapne mein bhi nahi socha tha ki jisko usne peeth par chura ghopa tha wahi banda uske saamne patti bhandhe katore mein doodh mang raha hai. Tabhi Komal dusre kamrein sa nikal kar bahar aayi “are bhaisahab aap. Aaiye, woh darasal mera dost hai aaj hi aaya hai mere gaon se, ..” “Acha, woh darsal doodh chaiye tha?” “Arre aapko yeh kya hua , patti wagera bhandha hua hai?” “Woh kuch haraami saalon ne mujh pe aur Gautam pe chaku se hamla kiya, saalon ne uske upar se helmet pehna hua tha isiliye shakal pehchan nahi paaye warna saalon ke tatton ko hathode se phod daalte, naali ke keede bhain ke laude….” Komal ne Rahul ki taraf dhekha aur Rahul ne Komal ki taraf dhekh kar nazarein neeche kar li.
Ussi din raat ko Karan ka phone Rahul ke paas aya” Maadarchod kahan pe hai,?” “ are kisi ke ghar ruka hua hun , ek aurat hai ….Komal” “kaisi hai?” “ raapchik maal hai, teen din se baja raha hun isse, ussi ke ghar par hun , ussi ka kha raha hun, usi ko baja raha hun , ek aadmi ko aur kya chahiye” bolke dono hans padte hai “ Acha tu kahan par hai be?” Rahul ne poocha “ thaane mein , inspector ne sab kuch ugalwa liya hai, ab woh tujhko pakdenge” Yeh sunte hi Rahul bister par chaunkar bhaith gaya, Paas mein Komal leti hui thi. Usne Rahul ke pant ke zip ko kholne ke liye haath badaya ki Rahul ne uska haath hata te hue use ek tamaacha maar diya. Rahul kuch aur bol pata ki dusri taraf se Karan phir hans pada “ kyun saale phath gayi, main toh mazaak kar raha tha, nikal gayi teri saale , ab bata, tu us ladki ki le raha hai ya maine teri le lee” Karan aur bhi jor jor se hasne laga. Rahul ne gusse mein phone kaat diya. Par wapas Karan ka phone aa gaya “abe gussa kyun ho raha hai, main wapas apne kamrein mein aa gaya hun. Do din se bahar nahi nikla hun, aaj shayad niklunga. Ghar pe rashan sab khatham hai." “ par tujhe agar kisi ne pehchan liya toh?” Rahul ne Karan se poocha “are main ganja ha gaya hun , saala koi kya main khud ko nahi pehchaan paa raha hun, tu bata?” “acha sun ek baat toh bolna hi bhool gaya” Rahul ne poori ghatna batayi jo pichhle do din mein ghati thi “abe maadarchod, matlab dono zinda hain, iska matlab beta sahi hai helmet pahane rahoge toh khoon karke bhi bach sakte ho kyun, isilye hamesha bike chalayein toh helmet pehnke chalna chahiye “ kehkar dono phir hans pade. Tabhi Rahul ne Karan se poocha “ abe ek baat toh bata humein jo Raj ne kaha tha ki safed shirt wale par hamla karna hai phir uske jeb se saboon ki tikkiya nikal ni hai , yeh saala saboon ki tikkiya mein hai kya?”” Pata nahi yaar, par woh kaam bhi toh nahi hua, upar se safed shirt aur nile shirt waale bach gaye, kya pata police ko kya bola hoga?”
Rohilla ke dimaag mein bhi eki hi sawal tha “ abe Gautam ek bat bata, Joglekar ne jo saboon ki baat ki thi , saala uss saboon mein tha kya jo hum par kisi aur ne jaan lewa humla kiya?” “pata nahi , ek kaam kar Joglekar ko phone laga” “abe uska phone switch off aa raha hai, kal uske ghar jaakar hi milunga
SABOON KI TIKKIYA KA RAAZ
Darsal iss saboon ke tikkiya mein kuch nahi hai, baat hai isski wrapping paper ki. Isske andar ke taraf ek number likha hua hai, 542 04, iss number ke pehle teen akshar ek kaidi ke hai jo jail ki saaza kaat raha hai, aur aakhri do number uske kamre ka number hai. Log kisi ko marwana chahe toh kiraye ke gundo ko paisa dekar marwate hain , aisa hi kuch jail ke andar bhi chalta hai. Toh Raj ne apne do log Rahul aur Karan ko bheja tha Murg mandi ki yeh plan kamyaab na ho, isilye jab woh safed shirt wala banda bike mein aayega usse marker saboon uske jeb se nikal le taki woh jail me kaidi bach jaye, kyunki Raj khud iss kaidi ke khoon ka pyasa tha , aur woh nahi chahta tha ki koi aur usse maarne ki supaari de. Raj aur Madhav urf Kaidi number 542, ek samay par ache dost the, par Raj ke peeth peeche Madhav uski biwi ko bajata tha. Ek din jab Raj ki biwi ne dene se inkaar kar diya toh Madhav ne usse aisa mara ki woh mar gayi, police ne Madhav ko jail mein bandh kar diya aur uspe case chala diya, jisse Raj ko koi tasalli nahi milli. Joglekar ek local gunda tha, jo supari lekar khoon karta tha. Usne Madhav ki supaari kisi teesre aadmi se li thi, Hala ki Madhav ladki thokne ke illawa bahaut logo ko paise ke maamle mein bhi dhoka dene mein mahir tha, ussi mein se ek aadmi ne Joglekar ko kaha tha jail mein Madhav ka khoon karne ko.Yehi aadmi uss din Murg Mandi mein safed shirt aur kaale pant mein nile rang ki bike pe aa raha tha saboon ki tikiya lekar. Kyunki woh thoda sa late ho gaya aur usske beech mein phone ke cross connection ne pura plan hi ulta kar diya.
Agle din Rohilla Joglekar ke ghar pahauncha “abe tum log saale kaha ho, woh kaam bhi thik se nahi kiya, party ka phone aya tha ki tum log Murg Mandi pahaunche hi nahi. “ Rohilla ne puri ghathna film style mein rewind kee with background score. Rohilla ne uss saboon ki tikkiya ka raaz bhi jaan liya Joglekar se “pata hai ab problem kya hua hai, ab jail mein aur bhi sakth pehra bhitha diya hai, ab itna late ho gaya hai ki pata nahi kya karoonga” “Kyun kya hua ?” Rohilla ne poocha,” abe bosdike akhbaar nahi padte ho, dhekha nahi jailon mein kaise ek kaidi dusre kaidi ko maar rahein hain, pata nahi kaise maar paonga iss maadarchod ko.” Idhaar Raj ne bhi Rahul aur Karan ko apne ghar bulakar Phatkaar maari.
Teen Mahine baad…
Ek mush-hoor akhbaar mein yeh kahabar chapi
residential colony mein ashleel filmen banane ka parda paash, police ne computer sahit DVDs aur movie camera zabdt ki, isspar chhan been jaari hai. Police commissioner ne do din ke andar saare gunehgaaron ko saalankhon ke peeche karne ki than li hai.
“Are Komal main nikal ta hun office ke liye” Rahul ab bhi Komal ke saath reh raha tha, Komal ne ek dukaan mein sales girl ka kaam le liya tha aur Rahul ne ek company mein courier boy ka kaam le liya tha. “Are Rahul apni helmet le jaana mat bhoolna , kal le nahi gaye the” Rahul ne muskurake Komal ki taraf dhekha aur kaha “haan helmet pehna swasth ke liye labhdayak hai kyunki…” yeh bol ke dono zor zor se hasne lage aur isi beech Rahul ne bike ki chaabi table se uthayi aur sar par helmet pehnkar ghar ka darwaza khola.
Inspector khada hua tha apne constable ke saath “yeh komal kaun hai? “ Rahul ne helmet ke andar se Komal ko awaaz di, Komal jab bahar aayi toh Inspector ne usko sar se pav tak dhekha, uske saamne DVD mein Komal aur uss ke saath ek aur aadmi ki nahane ki tasweer samne aa gayi. Inspector thoda muskuraya aur bola chalo thane, ab thane mein apne jalwe bhikherna, tabhi constable ne Rahul ko dhekha aur kaha “ abe oye helmet kya pehne hue hai utar isko?” Rahul jyon hi helmet utaarne ko apne dono haath helmet par rakhta hai ki inspector phir kehta hai “ Ek minute helmet mat utarna , tujhe kahin dhekha hai saale helmet ke saath, …kahan dhekha hai “ yeh sochte sochte constable phir bol padta hai “ sahaab are issi Komal ke ashleel DVD jismein woh naha rahi this ussi frame mein bathroom ke khidki ke bahar yeh helmet pehne latka hua tha, aur sirje agar aapne gaur farmaya ho toh uske shirt mein khoon ke daag bhi the, yeh yeh kalayi ki taraf” “haan ab tu helmet utaar” inspector ne bola, Rahul ke helmet utarte hi inspector ne Rahul ko do thapad gaal mein rakh ke diye. Komal aur Rahul dono ko thane le jaya gaya. Wahan par pooch tach karne par dono ne aapni apni gunah kabool kiye. Rahul ne Karan ke baarein mein bhi bataya. Rahul par jab tak case chal raha tha tab tak uss ko bade jail bhej diya jahan Madhav bhi sazaa kaat raha tha.
Do Mahine baad
Jab Joglekar ko Rahul ki khabar mili toh usne Rohilla ko bataya, Rohilla ka khoon khaul utha usne kaha, “Joglekar bhai, aap iss Rahul ko marwa do jail mein hi , issi bhain ke laude ne mere peeth par chhura ghopa tha, “ Joglekar hasne laga aur kaha “ teri kismet achi hai…. aaj subha hi Madhav ko marne ke liye ek aur uske dushman ne mujhe supari dee hai. “ Toh Rohilla ne poocha “ iska matlab?” “Yeh toh tu do din baad akhbaar mein hi pad liyo”
do din baad
Jail mein phir se kaidiyion mein jhadap... Rahul aur Madhav naam ke do kaidiyon mein nahane ke saaboon ko lekar jhagra hua, isse do dal ban gaye, aadhe kaidi Madhav ke taraf ho gayein aur aadhe Rahul ke taraf. dono mein khub pathar baji hua jissmein Madhav aur Rahul maare gaye.
Jail adhikariyon ko kahna hai ke jail ke andar construction ka kaam chal raha tha, jo ki naye tenderon ke aane ke wajah se paanch saal se ruk gaya tha. iske chalte iitein aur cement kaafi deeno se wahan pada tha, ussi iiton se in dono ghuth mein ladai hui ...... police adhikariyon ne tender paas karne wale adhikariyon par mukadma chalaane ki court mein dharkhasth ki hai. Police ka kehna hai agar tender pass ho gaya hota toh aaj yeh do kaidi bach gaye hote....
Quite a twist and turn and ultimately the end was the funniest... :)
ReplyDeletethnku
ReplyDeleteIt was addictive...as usual an interesting twist...loved it
ReplyDeletethnku :)
ReplyDeletenice story..again a 'zara hat k types'..will wait for ur next story:)).......nivedita
ReplyDeletehahahahaha...............writer hatz-offffff :-) ....truly mnd-rfrshng stry .. ;-)
ReplyDeletegud one dada..
ReplyDeletethnku
ReplyDeleteThe end was quite interesting. I loved the sub-plots
ReplyDeletethnku
ReplyDeleteas usual the endings of your stories are the best... and everything falls into place...!!! good work!! keep it up dada!! :D
ReplyDeletethnku
ReplyDeleteDada the story has been immaculately written and i must say it is very free-flowing!!! had a wonderful journey of story-telling by reading cross-connection.
ReplyDeleteThe twist the initial confusion and the usage of abuses... Quite an interesting package for an open-minded reader.
ReplyDeletethnku
ReplyDelete