MAUM (WAX)

Aabir ne ghar ke khirki se raaste ke uspaar ek aadmi ko footpath par bhaithe hue dekha. Aabir aur Devdyuti ne jabse kalkatte mein naya ghar liya tha, tab se iss aadmi ko foothpath pe bhaithe hue paya. Bada hi dilchasp kisam ka aadmi tha. Woh apne aap ko amateur astronomer kehta tha, ek samay par sena mein tha, uske baad ghar chor diya  aur foothpath pe bhaith gaya,  sabko thoda sanki toh lagta tha yeh, par woh apne aap mein anokha tha. Uski maniye toh woh kehta tha ki prithvi ek jagah par tiki hai aur sooraj uske chaaron aur ghoom raha hai. Maano saare surya mandal ki baat hi kuch aur ho. Usne iske baarein mein kaafi kuch likha kore kaagazon mein aur phir logon ko padaya , samjhaya,….. bade ascharya ki baat hai, Koi itne confidence ke saath yeh keh sakta hai jab ki saari duniya kuch aur hi kehti hai……. Khair, tabhi darwaaze par ghanti baji. Debdyuti  Joi Baba Felunath naami film niradishak Satyajit Ray ki likhi hui detective kitaab pad rahe the, unhone kitaab ko maze par rakha aur darwaaza khola “shama chahunga ki main ne iss samay aapko pareshaan kiya” ek aadmi darwaze pe khade hokar bolne laga, Aabir jo ab bhi khirki ke paas khada tha us aadmi ki baat sunte hi deewar par tange ghardi ki taraf dhekha, shaam ke chaar baj rahe the aur chai peene ka samay ho gaya tha.  Aabir dheeme swar mein  bola  “ab bhabhi ko teen chaye banani padegi.. iss mehngai bhare zammane mein ”

“ Mera naam Ranjay hai main bou bazaar ka rehne wala hun kareeb do hafto se mere jijaaji Piyush Chakraborty lapata hai, unki koi khabar nahi hai, mere kuch doston ne aapka pata bataya. Agar aap kuch madad karein toh badi meharbaani hogi.” “Inki koi tasweer wagera hai aap ke paas…. par aap police ke paas kyun nahi gaye?” Debdyuti ne kaha, Ranjay ne apne roomal se aapna matha pochte hue dheere swar mein kaha “darhasal mere jijaaji ki bahut badi company hai kapdon ki.  Gharwaale nahi chahate ki bahar kisi ko pata chale. Ek toh rishtedaron ko pata chalega toh ajeeb sawal poochenge aur doosri baat dusre logon ka is kapdon ki mill par nazar hai. Agar unko pata chalega toh woh log kuch bhi kar sakte hai.” “tumhare jijaaji ke ghar mein aur kaun kaun hai ?” “bas mere jijaaji aur unki biwi matlab meri behan, unke maa baap bahaut pehle guzar gaye.  “Koi santaan?” “Nahi” “aap un ke ghar ka pata likh jayiye hum aaj hi unke ghar jayenge”

“ namaskaar main Debdyuti aur yeh Aabir, aapke bhai ne humein bula bheja tha aapke pati ke lapata hone par” Piyush ke patni ne in dono ko andar bhithaya  “ aap ne aakhri baar apne pati ko kab dhekha tha ghar se nikalte hue?” Debdyuti ne poocha “subha ke dus baje .  woh apne dafftar ke liye nikal rahe the.” “unka kisi ke saath koi jhagra ya koi dushmani?  “nahi aisa toh kuch nahi lagta, unhone kabhi bataya nahi, ghar par toh woh harsamay hasi mazaak karte the” “ agar aapko aitraaz nah ho toh kya hum aapke ghar ki talashi le sakte hain?” Piyush ki biwi ki anumati par Debdyuti aur Aabir ghar ki talashi shuru kar dee.  Piyush ke study room ki almaari se unhe ek bada sa peelein rang ka khaali lifafa mila, iske bare mein jab Piyush ki biwi se poocha gaya toh woh kuch nahi bata payi. Debdyuti ne woh pata padha aur uss jagah pahaunch gaya.

Madhav Mukherjee , 37 A uttor pada , kolkata – 76. “baap re baap! kaafi bada ghar hai. Kya karta hoga yeh aadmi?” tabhi Debdyuti ne kaha “ teri nazar iss bade bangle par gayi par uske aage ek bade se gate pe nahi jispe chhota sa ek board tanga hua hai - 'Astrologer'.”Aabir ka mooh khula ka khula hi raha gaya , andar jaate hi darwaze ke paas ek bail (bull) ki ek badi si sone ki murti khadi thi,  Aabir ka muh abhi bhi khula hi tha, thodi dur chalte hi deewar par do judwa bachhon ki sone ki murti tangi hui thi (twins) “kaafi shaukeen aur paise wala maloom hota hai"  Aabir ne bola, tabhi ek aadmi aya “humein Madhav Mukherjee se milna hai” “koi appointment hai aapka? woh bina appointment ke nahi miltein hain” “nahi appointment toh nahi par kuch zaroori kaam hai” us aadmi ne in dono ko bhaithak kamrein mein bhitha diya. Aabir idhar udhar chaaron aur dekh raha tha “ Aabir zara bata yeh sab jagah jagah deewaron par kis cheez ki sone ki murtiyan lagi hui hain?” “Arre yeh bhi koi poochne ki baat hai. yeh sab alag alag raashi ki murtiyan hain, ghar mein ghuste hi bail yani vrashab rashi (taurus) uske bad mithun, do Judwa bache (gemini) phir kark (cancer) phir singha (leo), phir ek sundar si kanya (virgo) uske thik baad thodi dur mein ek tarazu liye ek aadmi khada hua hai (Libra) phir is bhaithak kamrein mein us deewar par Vrischik ki sone ki murti (scorpio) phir dhanu (sagitarius) phir makar (capricon) phir is table par rakhi hui kumbha (aquarius) aur aur……” “mujhe pata hai Aabir tu kya dhoondh raha hai meen raashi (Pisces) yani machli ki moorti….par woh mujhe bhi dikhayee nahi de rahi” “aur mesh raashi  kahan hai?” Aabir ne poocha “ mesh raashi yani Aries Vrshabh rashi ke aage deewar par latki hui thi shayad aap logo ki nazar uspe padi nahi” Madhav Mukhjerjee ne haath jode kamrein mein ghuste hue kaha  “Der se aane ke liye maafi chahunga”  Madhav Mukherjee che feet lambe the. Sar pe kale safed baal, honth laal sambhavta paan khane ki wajah se, har ungli mein sone ki anguthee, safed dhoti - kurta,  pairon mein safed moje aur kale joote. “Kahiye kis kaam se aap yahan aayein hain….” “woh darhsal… yeh hai Aabir aur main hoon Debdyuti. Yeh…” “ acha aap log kuch lenge? chai wagera?” Debdyuti ne kaha “chai pee sakte hain” Debdyuti ne woh Lifafa unke samne maze par rakh diya “iss ke bare mein aap kuch keh sakte hain? Yeh lifafa humein Piyush Chakraborty ke ghar se mili, ispe aapka naam hai aur bhejhne wale koi kitaab prakashak Dhar and Sons hain.” Madhav Mukherjee chai ki chuski lete hue terdhi nazar se lifafe ki aur dhekhte hain aur plate mein rakhe buiscuit ko muh mein dalte hue kehte hain “dhekhiye yeh sach hai yeh lifafa mera hi hai darsal is prakashak se maine kuch astrology ki kitaabein mangwayi thi, toh woh kitabein issi lifafe mein parcel hoke aayi thi…..par yeh lifafa ….kya naam bataya aapne?’ “Piyush Chakraborty” “ haan uske paas kaise pahunchi mujhe nahi pata, main toh janta bhi nahi isko,  shayad bahar phek diya tha wahin se mila ho use yeh lifafa…” Debdyuti ne tasweer bhi dhikhayi par Madhav Mukherjee ne nahi pehchana.

 Aabir aur Debdyuti ne chai pee aur chalne lage ki Debdyuti ne poocha “ aapke ghar mein saare rashiyon ki murti hai par meen rashi yani pisces ki ek bhi murti nahi hai?” Madhav Mukherjee jor se haste hue bole  “baap re baap aapke observation power ki toh daat deni padegi…darhsal woh maine apne bête ko dee hai, uski raashi wahi hai na toh woh use saath London le gaya hai apne ghar mein sajane ke liye.” “aapke kitne bête hain?” “mera ek hi beta hai aur biwi guzar gayi hai , mere maa baap bhi guzar gaye hain, unka main ek hi beta tha… mera matlab.. hun, aur kuch poochna hai aapko?” Debdyuti aur Aabir wahan se nikal gaye, gate se nikalte hue Debdyuti ne mud ke ghar ko dobara dekha,  ghar ki dusri balcony mein Madhav Mukherjee ke secretary khadhe hue the. Aabir aur Debdyuti ghar aa gaye… Shaam ko Aabir ne Debdyuti ko barande mein cigarette peete hue paya toh poocha “kya hua?” “Yeh dekh, kitabon  ke naam”. Debdyuti ne Aabir ko ek parchi thamayi jispe teen kitabon ke naam likhe hue the ‘ADVANCE THEORIES ON ASTROLOGY’ ‘ ASTROLOGY AND NUMEROLOGY’ ‘WAX MODELING ’ “ Are! Baap re yeh teesri kitaab…?” “abhi thodi der pehle main us prakashak ke paas se hoke aa raha hun aur yeh dekh wax modeling ki kitaab udhaar pe le laya tere liye” Tabhi kisi ne ek patthar Aabir ki aur zor se phenka aur Aabir ki kaan ke paas se guzarte hue, pathar ne balcony ka sheesha tod diya. Debdyuti ne apne balcony se jhaak ke dhekhta ki tab tak patthar phekhne wala andhere mein gum ho chuka tha, Aabir ne dekha ki patthar pe ek kagaz lipta tha. Kagaz pe likha tha ‘Apni khair chahte ho toh yeh sab chhor do’ “Acha tune baaki do kitabein dhekhi us dukaan par?” Aabir ne poocha. “Haan prakashak ke wahan dusri copy padi hui thi, kaafi sadharan si kitabein thi, astrology par, par yeh wax modeling ki kitaab, dhek isko.” Aabir apni nazar us kitaab ke panno par daurata hai “Deb sach mein yaar saare putle ekdum asli lag rahein hai, ek baat toh hai, agar apne aankhon se nahi dhekhta iss kitaab ko toh nahi manta main.” “Kal raat ko ek baar Madhav Mukherjee ke ghar jayenge bina usse bataye uske ghar ke andar” “Par kyun tujhe koi suraag mila hai kya, koi shaq hai uspe?” “ tune gaur nahi kiya hoga, aaj jab hum log uske ghar se nikal rahe the, toh dusri balcony par uska secretary khada hua tha, us balcony par kuch kapde latak rahe the shayad sukhne ke liye, usmein ek saari bhi latak rahi thi, uske ghar mein koi aurat toh hai nahi phir,  toh….” “ tu kehna chah raha hai Madhav Mukherjee saari pehanta…””Arre! pata nahi….”

Agli raat ko….

Aabir aur Debdyuti raat ke kareeb do baje Madhav Mukherjee ke ghar deewar phand ke dusri manzil ki balcony tak pahunche. Unhe ek kamarein se kuch awaazein sunayi dee. Uss kamre ki khidki mein jhaanka to dekha ki ek aurat bister par leti hui thi, Madhav Mukherjee bhi us aurat ke saath leta hua tha, dono ke shareer mein kapde nahi the, kamrein ke andar andhera tha par ek chothi si neelein rang ki night bulb jal rahi thi, jisse Debdyuti ko andar sab nazar aa raha tha. Par ek cheez Debdyuti ko ajeeb lagi, Madhav Mukherjee usko puchkaar raha tha, hothon ko chum raha tha, uske baad dheere dheere aurat ke saare badan ko chum raha tha par us aurat ke taraf se koi harkat nahi ho rahi thi, na toh uske haath ya pair hil rahe the na gardan hil rahi tha. “Aabir ko dhekh ke Debdyuti muskuraya aur bola chalo wapas chalte hain” “ Deb thoda sa aur dhekhte hain na…” Aabir ne Debdyuti ko bolke aankh maari.  Dono wahan se wapas ghar chale gaye. “Deb mujhe toh wishwas hi nahi ho raha hai ki aise vyakti bhi hain duniyan mein jo maum ke putlo se apni zarooraton ko poora karte hain, shocking , baap re baap ghor kalyug……. par kyun yaar, koi aur ladki nahi mil sakti thi use,…. Putle se...?’" “Iss kyun ka jawab toh mere paas bhi nahi hai bhai, kyun ek aadmi che mahine ki bachhi ka balatkaar karta hai, kyun koi jaat ke naam par ek dusre ko marta hai, kyun do log ek bachche ko paida karke kisi kuredaan mein phenk dete hain, kyun koi agar kisi ke saath jhagada karein chhoti chhoti baton par toh bandooke nikal jaati hain...... Sirjee is Kyon ka pata nahi isliye woh  sab choro humein abhi Piyush Chakraborty ko dhoond nikalna hai” Debdyuti ne study table par Piyush Chakraborty ki taswer ko dhekhte hue kaha. “Par Deb Madhav Mukherjee ka maum ki putliyon se pyaar karna, aur Wax Modeling ki kitabein khareedne ka sambhandh toh samajh gaya, shayad woh tasweeron se bhi man behlata hoga. Par Piyush Chakraborty se iska kya lena dena hai?’ Debdyuti bhi soch mein pad gaya ki tabhi woh almaari ki taraf dauda, aur do kagaz ke tukre nikale. Ek par Ranjay ne Piyush Chakraborty ke ghar ka pata likha tha aur doosra wale mein dhamki bhara khat tha jo peechli raath ko balcony pe phenka gaya tha. Tabhi Aabir cheekh ke bolta hai “Deb jaldi idhar aa! yeh dhekh?” Deb ne Aabir ke haath se maum ke putlon par kitaab liya aur Piyush Chakraborty ki tasweer dekhi. “Dekho kaando! Eta ki… yeh Piyush Chakraborty ki asli tasweer nahi hai yeh bhi ek maum ke putle ki tasweer hai, uff! Hum kitna kam jante hain, ek nazar mein dekho yeh tasweer kitni asli lagti hai. Ab toh Ranjay ko pakadna padega kal subah tadke tadke”. “Par Deb Ranjay milega kahan?” Pata lagana padega ... Madhav Mukherjee ke ghar chaltein hain thoda dhamkaunga toh kuch toh bolega”

“Madhav Mukherjee se milne aayein hai zara bula dijiye?” Debdyuti ne kaha “woh aapse mil nahi payenge. Woh kisi zaroori kaam se kal subah dilli chale gaye”Secretary ne kaha “dhekho jhooth mat bolo mujhe pata hai woh yahi hai, tum nahi bulaoge toh majbooran mujhe police bulani padegi  “thodi der mein Madhav Mukherjee aa gaye. Debdyuti ne wax modeling ki kitaab, Piyush Chakraborty ki tasweer aur woh peela lifafa maze par rakha “Aap kuch bolenge ya main police se bulwaaun?” Madhav Mukherjee apne sofe pe bhaithe “ woh mujhe maum ke putle …..” “Woh baat humein pata hai ki aap maum ke putlon se kya karte hain par yeh lifafa aur tasweer wali baat kya hai. Pehle aap se Ranjay ke baarein mein poochna chahunga. “ Darhsal woh Ranjay nahi khud Piyush Chakrabory hai aur usse main bahaut dino se janta hun. Woh mera client hai usko main jyotish sahstra se samasyaon ke hal batata hun, aise hi ek din woh mere ghar aaya bina kisi appointment ke, usko kuch zaroori  baat karni thi par uss samay main apne putle wale kamrein mein tha aur woh wahan aa gaya mujhe dhoondte hue, jab usne mujhe putlon ke saath….  mera matlab….. woh sab karte hue dhekha toh woh do minute ke liye wahi khada ghoorta raha. Maine jab yeh sab dhekha toh main kamrein ke bahaar aya tab tak woh jaa chukka tha. Ussi raat usne mujhe phone karke blackmail kiya. Uss din aapne mujse poocha tha ki meen rashi yani pisces ki sone ki murti nazar nahi aa rahi, maine woh murti Piyush Chakraborty ko us peele wale lifafe mein bhandhke dee thee jo ab aapke paas hai, yeh blackmail wali cheez bahaut din aur chali, phir ek din maine tang aakar usse kuch aur dene se mana kardiya.

Bas phir kya tha, usne mujhe dhamki di ki woh mujhe phasa dega. Us din jab aap log aaye tabhi main samaj gaya tha par jab aapne us din mujhe tasweer dhikhayi toh main todha soch mein pad gaya ki ek toh yeh tasweer Piyush Chakraborty ki nahi thee aur doosri baat yeh tasweer ek mom ke putle ki thi, par camera ki chaturai se aise khichi gayi hai ki koi pakad nahi payega aasani se ki yeh tasweer mom ke pootle ka hai ya kisi asli insaan ka. Main jaan gaya tha kyunki maum ke putlon ke baarein mein mujhe pata hai” “Ranjay yani Piyush Chakraborty abhi kahan milenge?’ “Jahan se shayad aapko ye lifafa mila tha wahin”. “Dhanyawaad” kehkar Debdyuti aur Aabir wahan se chale gaye. Woh log Ranjay yani Piyush Chakraborty ke ghar pahaunche. Piyush Chakraborty ki patni ne darwaaza khola aur khuch bolne se pehle hi Debdyuti aur Aabir ghar mein ghus gaye. Tabhi Piyush Chakraborty bathroom se nahake bahar aa rahe the aur inn dono ko dhekhte hi bhaagne ki koshish karne lage, ki tabhi police wahan pahunch gayi aur Piyush Chakraborty ko daboch liya. “Bhabhi ji chai banaiye,  aapke pati humein  kuch kehna chahte hain. Toh boliye janab, yaar bade bevakoof ho ?,Usdin apne ghar ka pata aur dhamki waali chithi dono ek hi handwriting mein likh diya, dhamki waale kagaaz toh kisi aur se likhwa liya hota, acha yeh maum waale putle bante kahan hain aur tumhe yeh  kaise pata chala? “Woh jab Madhav Mukherjee ne khuch dene se mana kar diya toh maine ek plan banaya, mujhe jis lifaafe mein murti di gayi thi main us prakashak ke paas gaya ki koi kitaab ho jismein maum ke putlon ke baarein pata chale, toh wahan se WAX MODELS AND MANNEQUINS kitaab mein ek company ka pata diya hua tha jo Pakstreet mein hai. Bas wahin jaake ek aise hi kisi putle ko khareeda aur usko ghar le aaya, phir ek tasweer kheechne wale ko bulakar ek tasweer kichi aur aapke paas le gaya, jab aap ko bhi woh tasweer mein putla samaj nahi aaya main bahaut khush hua,” “par tu humaare paas aaya kyun?” “main chahata tha agar apke taraf se Madhav Mukherjee ko poochtach karwayi jaaye toh woh kuch jyada hi dar jayega, police se karwata  toh shayad main bhi phas jata, woh ghar par lifaafa bhi mane janboojhke almaari mein rakha tha ki agar aap logo ne talashi li toh Madhav Mukherjee ka pata us lifafe par paate hi uske ghar jayenge” “very smart…aur dhamki wali chithhi kyun beji mujhe,?” “woh darhsal jis din aap log Madhav Mukherjee ke ghar gaye the us din shaam ko uska mere paas phone aaya tha, bechara girgira raha tha, usne meri sharte man li ki woh phir se mujhe cheeze dega jo main chahunga. Isliye case band karne ke liye main woh pathar mein lipti hui kagaz aapke sheeshe par maari thi.” “Chalo ab police tumhein jail mein pathar tudwaigi.

Debdyuti aur Aabir ghar laut rahe the ki Aabir ki nazar phir se us raaste par bhaithe amateur astronomer par gaya “Deb ek yeh hai jo saare zamane se lad raha hai ki sooraj ghoom raha hai aur prithvi ek jagah khadi hui hai, use kisi ka dar nahi, aur doosri taraf woh paise wala astrologer  hai jo ki dar gaya tha ki maum ke putlein waali baat bahar kisi ko pata chal gaya toh uski badnami hogi. Uske client chale jayenge. Paise nahi rahenge…issi chakkar mein phas gaya. Sochta hun agar yeh putlein waali harkhat iss amateur astronomer ne kee hoti aur Sooraj ghoom raha hai, prithvi ek jagah hai wali baat agar Madhav Mukherjee ne kahi hoti to…….