JAYANTO: arrre yeh lo train bhi aa gayi……. 47 Barun Choudhury, 48 Abhinav Paul, 49 Abhash Dey aur yeh mera naam half centuary banate hue 50 Jayanto Dutta. Chalo seat toh confirmed hai. Aree arre ruko boss…
ABHINAV: ab kya hai chado train mein…
JAYANTO: abe ladkiyaan! Seat no 54, 55, 56, 57 aur naam hai…. Priyanka, Kareena, Deepika aur Chitrangada. Wah! sabke liye ek ek. Kya baat hai!
BARUN: sahi hai. Deepika jam rahi hai mujhe, baaki tum dhekh lo…. par abhi bhi nazar nahi aa rahein woh…
ABHASH: sir ji woh kanaaye Pokhran se chadenge. Ab aap log chadiye train mein.. bolo toh kuch phool wagera bhi le chalein unke aane par barsayenge…….
Chaar dost dilli se Jaisalmer ghumne ke liye gaye the. Ab wapas Jaisalmer se train pakad ke dilli jaa rahein the….
ABHINAV: are yaar mujhe toh bhook lag gayi hai.
ABHASH: is station mein chai ke ilawa aur kuch nahi milega….abhi.
Shaam ke paanch baj rahe the aur train dheere dheere Jaisalmer station se bahar nikal rahi thi…
BARUN: Shonaaar Kellla! Wah wah jo bhi bol agar Satayjit Ray ne woh picture nahi banayi hoti toh aaj Jaisalmer mein itne log ghumne nahi aate. …Aur bangaali dhekhe hain yahan baaap re baap! Pagol shob gulo!
ABHASH: Rum ki botal hain na? raat ko zaroorat padegi. Thand badne wali hai…
JAYANTO: haan hai….….
In chaaro ki bakchodi mein shaam ho gayi. Andhera cha ne laga…..aur kehte kehte Pokhran Station bhi aa gaya…
JAYANTO: kudiyaaan! Wah ji wah! abe tum mein se koi jaona neeche, mujhe woh thele mein pakode bante nazar aa rahein hain…
Pokhran jyada bada station nahi tha. Train sirf paanch minute ke liye ruki thi wahan. Ek chothe se lamppost ke neeche ek thele wala pakode ke saath chai bech raha tha…
BARUN: kyun tu nahi jata hai saale…. Teri gaand mein kya fevicol laga hua hai?
Thodi der mein train chal padti hai….
ABHINAV: garam garam chaar plate aalo poorie aur 300 gram pakode. Waah raat achi kategi kyun?
JAYANTO: woh toh kategi hi. Udhar dhekh ladkiyaaan. Kya kantaab maal hai yaar!
BARUN: hmmm! ismein meri wali kaun hai….
ABHASH: bula ke dhek le koi na nkoi toh jawab dega hi..
ABHINAV: kya garam garam pooriyan hain mazaaa aagaya ….
BARUN: yeh upar wali birth pe kaun so raha hai? chadar ode…
ABHASH: abbey tujhe kya…? tu khana khaa!
PRIYANKA: zara suniyeh toh! Yeh bag zara chadah denge upar, bahaut bhari hai…..
JAYANTO:: haan haan zaroor main chada deta hun
Barun thoda jor se aur haske bola….
BARUN: dhekha Abhash…. bhaisahaab ke pichwaade se fevicol utar gaya hai, kaise uchalke gaye hain udhar….aa beta dhikhta hun main….
JAYANTO: hi ! main hun Jayanto…
PRIYANKA: hello! main hun Priyanka. yeh hai Kareena , yeh hai Deepika aur yeh hai Chitrangada
JAYANTO: hi, kaafi fit bhaithe hain naam aap logo par…. matlab very sweet!
ABHASH: hamaare naam bhi kuch kadwe nahi hai Jayanto bhaiyaa.
JAYANTO: oh haan! yeh mere dost! … Barun, Abhinav aur Abhash….
Itne mein TT aa jata hai aur ticktein check karne lagta hai….
T.T.E: 47,48,49,50 thik hai….
BARUN: toh aap log kahan jaa rahein hai…. dilli?
DEEPIKA: ji haaan! Wahin naukri karte hain. yahan pe kuch research ke kaam se aaye the…..
ABHINAV: abe kitna dhool aa raha hai. Khidkiyaan ban kar de. Are abhi bathroom gaya main, aur bathroom ka chath tapak raha hai. Kya train hai yaar….
ABHASH: Jay ko ulta bathroom ke chath se laga de uske toh pichwaade mein Fevicol…
JAYANTO: bhalo hobena kintu bole dichi…..
Abhinav neeche awaaz mein bolte hue….
ABHINAV: yaar yeh pakode sahi nahi the …pet mein pata nahi gur gur ho raha hai….
JAYANTO: Mujhe toh lagta hai Radioactive ka asar ho raha hai. Woh pokhran test hua tha …
Aur sab has padte hain….Itne mein ek chai wala aa jata hai…
CHAI WALA: chaiiiiiiiiiiiya chaii ya. chai lenge aap log?
BARUN: Chai chahiye aap logo ko….
Sabhi ne mana kar diya ki tabhi chai wala bol pada…
CHAI WALA: arre sahab kyun nahi loge . Baate horahi hai jamkar, thoda chaye nahi piyenge toh kaise chalega …gale ko bhigoiye toh aur bhi meethi baatein niklengi..kyun memsahhab boliye..
JAYANTO: arre nahi chaiye.. jao yahan se
CHAI WALA: arre suniye toh….arz hai… gaur farmaiyega ki…
Dooriyan kam hoti hai, ek saath chai peene se
Dooriyan…kam hoti hai ek saath chai peene se
Garmaahat paida hoti hai , jab lagte ekdusre ke seene se…
BARUN: kya?...
CHAI WALA: mmmm…mmm... mera matlab hai sahaab thand ka mausam hai chai peejiye na garmaahat milegi….chaliye aaiye saahab chai peejiye…
Chaiwalein ne Abhash aur Abhinav ko bhi ladkiyon ke wahan bula liya aur chai peelane laga.
CHAI WALA: woh upar waale birth mein bhaisahhab nahi piyenge? Acha aap log bhaithiye main dhekhe aata hun.
Chaiwala birth number 46 mein soye hue aadmi ke paas jata hai aur jagane ki koshish karta hai….
CHAI WALA: sahaab chai peeyenge…
Udhar yeh log ladkiyon ke saath baatein karne me vaist aur idhar yeh chaiwala is soye hue yaatri ke jebein tatolta hua… aur dheemi awaaz mein bolta hua…
CHAI WALA: salaa kahan hai woh. Nahi mil raha. Phas jaonga main… iske haath mein toh dhekha tha tab….
Tabhi Abhash pukaarta hai…. Chaiwale ko…
CHAI WALA: aaya sahaab ji… chaliye paise nikal dijiye main chalta hun…
BARUN: badi jaldi mein chala gaya , abhi to shayari kar raha tha….
JAYANTO: nau baj gaye boss. Aap log dinner nahi karenge…
KAREENA nahi kuch khaas bhook nahi hai humein, aap logo ko khana khana hai toh kha lijiye….mujhe bahaut neend aa rahi hai…..agar aap log bura na mane toh main sone jaa rahi hun… Deepika, Chitra tum?
Deepika aur Chitrangada ne bhi haan bhar di aur yeh teen ladkiyaan sone chale gayi. Sirf Jayanto aur Priyanka bhaithe rahein wahan aur baaki teen Barun, Abhash aur Abhinav wapas apne seat pe aa jaate hain…..
ABHINAV: yaar ek baat to hai yeh upar wala banda tabse soya hua hai. Ek baar bhi utha nahi jyon ke tyon hi soya hua hai….
BARUN: saala tapak to nahi gaya …
ABHASH: yeh Jayanto toh wahin chipak gaya hai. Saala aane ka naam bhi nahi le raha..
ABHINAV: abbey chor na….. ufff! Kitna dhool hai yaar. Registan ka yehi saala problem hai.
Tabhi ek aur T.T aa jata hai….
T.T.E: ticket?
BARUN: Jay o Jay ticket nikalo phir se?
T.T.E ko ticket dhikhte hue….
T.T.E : yeh ticket sahi nahi hai… mujhe asli ticket dhikhayiye yeh photocopy nahi chalega…
ABHINAV: matlab sir actually baat yeh ho gayi humein kuch urgent kaam se yahan aana pada toh ticket dilli se katwaya aur Photostat copy yahan bhijwaya. Matlab mail kiya humein yeh ticket. Humare paas pan number bhi hai dhekhiye identification ke liye… Aapko dilli mein asli ticket…
T.T.E : dhekiye yeh E ticket nahi hai isliyer ID proof ka koi kaam nahi hai, yeh asli ticket ka copy hai joki nahi chalega aap naya ticket banawa lijiye
BARUN: par abhi aap ke pehle waale T.T. toh check karke sign kar ke gaye hain.
T.T.E : Kya matlab iss train mein sirf main hi check kar raha hun. Aur koi nahi hai. Yeh itni lambi train nahi hai ki do T.T ki zaroorat pade…. Chaliye chaliye ticket bana lijiye….
JAYANTO: aap kuch kariye sahab matlab thoda adjust wagera….
T.T.E : kya matlab hai aapka?
JAYANTO: matlab yeh pachaas rupaye aap rakh lo …
Abhinav, Abhash aur Barun teeno mooh chupake hasne lage
ABHASH: saala T.T ko diya bhi Pachaas rupaye
BARUN: Jay chor rahne de… sir kuch toh adjust kariye…..
T.T.E : no sir… ticket naya banaiye ya agle station mein utar jaiye.
Charo doston ke saamne mano Jaisalmer ke raja Jaisal talwaar lekar khare hain. Charo doston ne kisi tarah jebe tatolkar barahso rupaye ikhathe kiye aur diye.
T.T.E: yeh 46 seat mein kaun hai… haan bhaisahab ticket?
T.T ne do teen baar bulaya par koi jawab nahi. Yeh charo doston ke shakal par aise hi hawai udi hui thi . TT ne chadar hataya toh pata chala woh ek lash hai. TT ne in charo se poocha toh inhone kaha ki unhe pata nahi. TT ne kaha railway ka police yahan bhejta hun wahi dhek lega ki aakhir majra kya hai.
JAYANTO: bhainskieyes yeh kya ho gaya. Abbey lash…..
ABHINAV: barahso ka phatka aur ab yeh matlab hamara pichwada kya khushboodar hai humare saath hi kyun...
BARUN: jab main kehraha tha tab kuch nahi. Tu saale Abhash keh raha tha… nahi kha aloo poorie kha …beta ab niklega aloo poorie….
Tabhi railway ka police aa jata hai aur pooch tach karne lagta hai. Lash ki jaanch partal karta hai. Phir in charo ko kehta hai ki koi bhi dilli station mein utarkar bhagega nahi. Sabko thane jana padega. Aur abhi ke liye main yahan raat ko laash ke paas rahunga. Sab apni seat mein let jao….
ABHINAV: yeh le saale…..
Abhinav zameeen par so raha tha. woh apna seat police wale ko de chukha tha kyunki uski seat lash ke ekdum neeche wale birth pe thi. Wahan woh sona nahi chahata tha. Subhah ke kareeb paanch baje ek aadmi uske pair ke paas khada hua upar laash ko dhekh raha tha ki Abhinav apne par se use laath marke zameen par gira deta hai. Issi dauran baki log bhi jaag jaate hain
RAILWAY POLICE: kaun hai tu kyun aaya hai bata nahi toh goli….
AADMI: main main binomoy Bansal hun.
RAILWAY POLICE: haan toh yahan kis liye aaya tha…..
BINOMOY: yeh laash …..
BARUN: are yeh to woh TT hai dhekh wig gir gaya iska …matlab
Binomoy chup chap zameen mein sar neeche karke bhaitha raha.. phir police ke daant se woh bone laga….
BINOMOY: darsal is aadmi ke saath meri poorani dushmani thi. Main iske natak company mein makeup man hun. Kabhi kabhaar acting bhi kar leta hun chothe mote role ke liye….yeh kameena mere biwi par dore marta tha. Gandi batein karta tha. Meri biwi bhi issi company mein kam karti thi. Meri biwi ne jab kaam chor diya tab bhi yeh aadmi iski peecha karta tha
Kal subha hum Pokhran se kareeb 6ookm dur natak karne aaye toh maine yeh plan banaya ki aaj dophar mein heesab chukta karunga. Aaj dophar ki hamari wapsi thi Pokhran tak is train se. Yeh train dilli ko jati hai toh maine isse marke dilli jane ka plan banaya tha. Baaki natak ke log dusri dibbi mein the unko kuch nahi pata hai……Toh…
POLICE: Wahan tak toh theek hai…tu wapas kyun aaya?
BINOMOY: woh darsal jab main train mein chada toh dhekha yeh soya hua hai. Maine mauka paate dastaane pehnkar iska gala dabaya toh us hatha pai mein mere gale ka locket idhar hi uske seat ke aaspas gir gaya. Tab mujhe pata nahi chala aur tab tak Jaisalmer station aa gaya toh main phir waha se bhagh kar dusre dibbe mein chala gaya. Par phir jab mujhe pata chala ki mere gale se locket gayab hai toh meri phat li, toh phir main wapas gaya toh dhekha yeh log bhaithe hue hain.
POLICE: uske baad jaldi jaldi bata neend aa rahi hai jaldi jaldi….
BINOMOY: haan toh main makeup karke woh locket dhoond ne aaya tha…kabhi TT banke kabhi Chaiwala… socha locket lekar apne parivaar ke saath dilli chala jonga issi train se par….
POLICE: aur kaun kaun hai tere saath ismein
BINOMOY: meri biwi aur….
JAYANTO: woh tu tha…. Chaiwalaa…..
Jayanto aur uske baki dost sar pakad ke seat pe bhaith jate hain. Train bhi Dilli pahaunch chukhi thi….
POLICE: chalo baki baatein thane mein…
Railway ke karmchari aakar laash ko le kar chale jate hain Unke peeche peeche yeh log bhi apna samaan bhandhke nikalne wale hote hain ki…
JAYANTO: are woh ladkiyan... Priyanka, Kareena sab chale gaye, is maamle ke wajah se bye bhi nahi bol paya, phone number….
ABHINAV: abe woh seat ke neeche kya chamak raha hai kone mein? Locket?
JAYANTO: are haan shayad yehi woh locket hai…
Jayanto locket kholke dhekta hai toh uske hosh thikhane nahi rahte woh locket Barun ko de deta hai…
BARUN: abbey saaale yeh toh Priyanka ki tasweer hai aur…. iss khooni ke saath.
